Religion

Of course it was only a matter of time before religion got a look in...

ANGLICANISM:
You have two cows. Tea, anyone?

or:

You have two cows, which you milk at Christmas and Easter.

CATHOLICISM:
You have a cow; then another; then twin cows; then another; how many is that? then another...

or:

You have two cows, but after 15 centuries you realise you only have one cow, even though its still looks like two, because the Pope says so.

or:

You have two cows. You eat them on a Friday then confess to it on Saturday.

METHODISM:
You have two cows, but can only drink grape juice with them.

MORMONISM:
You have a wife and your father-in-law now has 8 cows.

CREATIONISM:
You have 2 cows. God made them.

QUAKERS:
You have two cows, but don't want to fight over it.

PRESBYTARIAN:
You have two cows, and you deserved it.

BUDDHISM:
You have two cows. They used to be rabbits.

JUDAISM:
You have two cows, which you don't milk on a Saturday. You don't have any pigs.

JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES:
You have two cows. You start knocking on doors to share the good news with as many people as possible.

SCIENTOLOGY
You refrain from any cow jokes on this one so as not to get sued.

HARE KRISHNA:
You have two cows. You don't eat them, but on the contrary provide free vegetarian meals for all. Rama rama ding ding.