It's Been A While...

STARBUCKS
You have two cows, although for tax purposes you don't have any.

TAX AVOIDANCE
You have two cows. They are officially domiciled in the Cayman Islands.

GOOGLE
You have two cows, but you tell the tax man they are sheep. You argue this is perfectly legal under international law and everybody is doing it.

IMPROVED NHS SERVICES
You have two cows. This allows you to choose between the two, even though there doesn't seem to be much difference between them, because choice is important.

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER
You have two cows. You evict them from their barn for not being able to afford the extra charge they owe on the empty stall after a third cow died.

PAOLO DI CANIO
You have two cows, but argue this has nothing to do with your abilities as a manager.

DAMIEN HIRST
You have two cows. You cut them in half for no conceivable reason and call it Art. Everyone hails you a genius.

WIMBLEDON
You have two cows. They go out in the first round. It rains.

SALLY BERCOW
Why is everyone talking about cows? *Innocent face*.

ESPECIALLY FOR MY FRIEND RHODA
We have a goat. Our alternative lifestyle collective is complete.